My problem is not that I am a romantic, being a romantic is good. The issue here is me going about it in a hopeless way. To me, being a romantic means having the ability to love and make someone feel good. God is love; therefore love is good.
you know why being hopeless is a bad thing? because I am a woman; and men use my emotions against me. They know we would lay our lives down for them. Deep down… you know I’m right, and it hurts! It hurts to love someone so much that you end up lying to yourself. telling yourself that its OK, he’ll come around. one day he will realize he loves me sooo much, I will teach him how to love. That day never comes because its too late, the day you realize its too late is when you’re in that situation Crystal was in, in “For Colored Girls” when the man who never knew how to love her; threw THEIR children out the window to their death. Do you see why being a hopeless romantic is not the smartest thing?
The hopeless romantic is not just related to love but life as well. You are being a hopeless romantic with life when you think that because you are a good person, bad things will never happen to you. Like when you do extra well at work and you are nice and kind and think your boss is going to show up like, “Hey Tshego! you have done so well this year, here is a bonus just ‘cause you are you *thumbs up*” this is not how life works. The romantic knows their strengths and capitalizes on them. you know if you’re a relatively good looking girl or if people mistake your kindness for weakness…now this is your strength. you want people to think that you don’t know that you are attractive or strong. Why? because “the element of surprise”!
Being a romantic is about knowing what someone needs and then being able to decipher what you’re willing to offer. being a HOPELESS romantic is knowing what someone needs and then going as far as nailing yourself in the ass to give that to them. So basically the difference here is knowing where to draw the line. where is the line drawn? that is dependent on the answer you give yourself after you ask how you feel about a certain sacrifice for a person or a situation. Women die to themselves unnecessarily and usually for someone or a situation who/which would have been cruel to them if given the chance.
Being a woman of greatness is figuring out, in every situation, the best outcome for you. No this will not breed a generation of conceited women because GREAT women are not conceited.
Therefore in conclusion, I believe that the ability to love someone is such a beautiful thing, it’s very easy to get derailed and lose yourself… that’s not good for anyone. But also where is the fun in loving someone sensibly? Maybe it just all boils down to finding that person who will allow you to love them hopelessly without hurting you. I just wish I was the one on the receiving end.