I think the hardest thing in being beautiful as well as intelligent is finding that balance. That balance between being humble and self-respecting.
I spent the weekend with my cousin and countless times when we were walking in the mall, watching television and “instagramming” we found ourselves admiring other women (always give credit where it’s due). After mentioning how beautiful they were or how well they were dressed; you know my next statement was ” I hope she’s pursuing greatness with all that beauty”. My cousin on the other hand tirelessly said she hoped they were just as beautiful on the inside.
I brushed this off about four times ( yes we check women out that much! Yess in THAT 😉 way!!) but when she mentioned it again, I elected to find out exactly what she means.
She went on to tell me how it is such a turn off to see a beautiful girl with a disgusting attitude, so then I asked what a disgusting attitude was. Is it a woman who does not give men the time of day? Or was it the woman who had worked her way to an executive position in a company and was now hated by her subordinates because of her assertion which was now being mistaken for bitchiness ( men think this word scares us hahahaha) ? I told her that before she answered she should think about whether or not her answer was sexist and if it was, I was not interested in hearing her justify herself.
So what I mean by what I had said was that I’m tired of society always expecting women to be a wound that never heals. Irrespective of the challenges in life, women can never turn into a scab because that is ugly…. and women are not meant to be ugly. Buuuut the scab that is a man is admired, because he is strong and has not broken down from all the hardships he has endured.
Instantaneously, she responded. She told me that what she meant was that there is noting worse than a self righteous person. A woman who feels that because she: looks a certain way, she wears certain clothes or gets paid a certain amount of money , can treat anyone (especially other women) any which way, is disgusting; and that she simply is not as beautiful or as desirable as she believes.
I remember tweeting about how anybody’s inferiority complex will never be any of my business. At that time I was thinking about the people who don’t want to see you flourishing because they simply cannot get further in their own lives. Like the cashiers who slam your money on the counter or refuse to greet you or acknowledge your existence or even do their job and pack your grocery bags. So basically, they just make you feel bad about yourself because they feel awful about themselves. But also my friends, let us not forget those people who walk into a room and do not greet you, who stare at you to the point of admiration and never pay you that compliment, that HR officer who tears up your CV in fear of you taking their job, as well as those individuals who look like they are too busy being fabulous to care about anyone but themselves, yet every morning and evening they are stalking your profile on every social network. Lets not forget that these individuals also have a complex, which is none of your business. Say a little prayer for these incognito lovers you have tonight 🙂
“Never treat people in a way that one day when your child is in need of any kind of help, they don’t receive it because of your past iniquities”
Anyway, more often than not, these actions are carried out by the most gorgeous women who seem to have it all together. You can be humble, kind and polite yet assertive, honest and not hurtful, beautiful and smart, ambitious and grounded and at the end of the day still leave people without the urge to self- harm after speaking to you, because you have completely obliterated any kind of self confidence they had strung together.
So after the longest DMC, my cousin ended off by saying how she never wants her child to be discredited in any way because of how she treated someone else in this world. I had never thought of it that way….
Today’s post is just to remind us that all that make up can never hide all that ugliness inside. If you are the type of woman who cannot, for the life of you, pay someone else a compliment, greet someone before you are greeted, or even help someone else be great for a change, just know that you are ugly. Great woman are so beautiful inside… to the point where that beauty just boils over to the outside.
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