The emotional burden

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I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss me!? I bet you were worried sick about me huh? You were probably wondering if aliens had captured me and zapped me off the face of the earth or if I had decided to climb a tree and fell off of it and broke my back. Well I’m here to reassure your sexy soul. I am still alive! My doctor diagnosed me with pneumonia. So while juggling my asthma pump, steroids, two different kinds of antibiotics and painkillers, and trying to stay out of hospital…. I’m glad to say that I am almost out of the woods and I am well enough to blog again!!!!!!!! Yaaaaaay *happy dances in my bed*.

So let’s get real. While I was gone you probably didn’t even notice, at best you were like ” thank the heavens! that idiot finally decided to stop writing her crude rubbish!!!” hahahaha that’s a funny thought… Anyway, today we are going to have a discussion about the emotional burden. What is an emotional burden? Is it something you become after a one night stand? Maybe. The emotional burden is a person who honestly believes that we care about each and everything that happens in their life and that our job is to hand out a ooooh” or “aaaah” because doing this makes us “kind and supportive”. Another way you could end up being classified as an emotional burden is if you have a sulky personality. So obviously for this type of burden, you’ll often find yourself using the following phrases: “oh no what’s wrong? What’s wrong Tshego? Is it something I did? Is it your cat? Is the air too dry for you this morning?” “PLEASE just tell me what’s wrong” words like that, I know I’m helping someone and you’re welcome buddy! Either way, being this self-absorbed and expecting everyone to fiend for you is very unhealthy and selfish.

Man… don’t you just hate emotional burdens? Earlier on on Facebook I wrote about learning how to speak up for yourself because the world does not have the patience to ask you what is wrong. Honestly, I do believe that there are some lovely people in this world (yourself included!) but as lovely as you may be, I cannot expect you to always be there trying to prove to me that my life does not suck when I am going through a tragedy (a tragedy in my perspective). Something’s gotta give. There is nothing I find more annoying than asking someone what’s wrong and them responding by saying “nothing”. I mean, I’ve taken time out of my day to notice that you aren’t your normal self, are you really going to make me work to help you?

You know, the dangerous thing about emotional burdens is that they seldom get satisfaction or the response they are looking for when they begin to discuss their problems with people. Either there is no one to speak to (because as you know, nobody cares and everyone has ADD when it comes to this area) or, people can never help you the way you feel you need to be helped. As we all know; we’re all from different families and in those families we each experience different struggles. Some people’s stories will make your jaw drop with how painful they are. You will realize that the crisis that happened when your nail broke as you tried to open your diet coke is the greatest fantasy to someone else.

There are 3 things that can turn you into an emotional burden:
1. When you focus on how shit your life is
2. When you don’t meditate
3. When you fool yourself into believing that you have friends who loves to sort out your life for you.

The second you find yourself doing any or all of these things above, pull yourself towards yourself and reflect. Then you can go and apologise to everyone for how selfish you have been.

I wish more of us would learn how to just speak. If something is on your chest let it out! If someone has hurt you or if something is bothering you, sort it out. Internalising your problems only makes you a meaner and ruder person over time. You become a ticking time bomb. One wrong thing and just like that, you explode. The way the world is set up, the only opportunity you’ll have where you’re coaxed to speak up and share your problems is at a therapy session you’ve paid for. Besides that, nobody really cares as much as you think they do (so sorry to burst your bubble). No one is going to sit you down and help you cleanse your soul. This is perfectly fine because THAT’S TECHNICALLY YOUR JOB.

Now I know I’m coming off as a very cynical person in this post but rest assured, I have not lost hope in the human race. It’s just that over this past week I have had a lot of time to reflect on certain happenings in my life, and I found it odd that my feelings were being held hostage by someone who needed my help but did not what to tell me how exactly I should help them. It was a very frustrating and painful situation. I rendered this particular person an emotional burden and I thought it would be interesting experience to share with you.

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