We live in a world where we believe that survival is most optimal when we ensure the highest level of security around ourselves. “Nobody can afford to know this or that because they’ll use it against me”.
I really have never understood what people meant when they said things like they feel strong when they are vulnerable around people. When I think about vulnerability all that comes to mind is an image of myself with all limbs shot off, and then being left alone to die in a war zone. My perspective of vulnerability was that it was an ugly and uncomfortable thing and I’m sure many others who enjoy the privacy of their lives and relationships would agree.
In the past week however, I was forced into situations where I had to be vulnerable with people I found less than trustworthy or even deserving of this experience. What I came to realize from these interactions/ experience is that people’s natural default isn’t to be a cunt (some people).
When we live our lives sheltered and guarded, we deprive others of a genuine connection with us (I feel so Geordie Shore rn with this sentence taaahaa!) We become the cunts, actually, because we carry these burdens of self, and disappointment, and expectations and never take the time to look up and validate if in fact these burdens are the right ones to be carrying or whether we actually need to just give ourselves a bloody break because nobody managed to build Rome in a day.
I seem to always appear as someone who has their shit together but in fact I do not! I need help, lots of it! Sometimes we need to know from people who have their shit together that it’s ok to not have your shit together at a certain point and how can we get this confirmation when we are too busy trying to look like we do?
Today I experienced emancipation in my vulnerability. I had a moment to exhale and be imperfect, bitter, greedy and selfish with someone who understands and has been there and gets it. People like this are crucial in life… people who validate your sanity!
I hope this week you find your person and the truth you’re seeking for your life.